Dr. Laura Berman: (Berman Institute for Sexual Health) talks Female Anatomy 101
More than 50 percent of American adults say they are unsatisfied with their sex lives. Dr. Laura Berman, a sex therapist and the founder of the Berman Institute for Sexual Health, says knowing your own body is a huge contributor to sexual satisfaction. “If you want [your partner] to be inside your vagina, you’ve got to be comfortable with your vagina too,” she says.
The first step toward being comfortable with the female anatomy is using the correct terminology, Dr. Berman says. “Va-jay-jay’s very cute. However, I encourage people to use the real terms,” she says. “A lot of people use ‘va-jay-jay’ because they’re too uncomfortable to actually say ‘vulva’ or ‘clitoris’ or ‘vagina.’” Dr. Berman also says you should teach your children the correct anatomical names. “That’s the earliest sex education for them,” she says.
If a woman wants to have a vaginal orgasm, Dr. Berman says she needs to find her G-spot. “If a woman’s lying on her back, inserts two fingers into the vagina on the belly button side [about two-thirds of the way in] and kind of moves her fingers … she’ll feel the G-spot,” she says. The tissue of the G-spot feels different than the rest of the vagina. “Some women say it feels almost like the tip of their nose.”
While you’re doing this experiment, don’t be surprised if you feel like you have to go the bathroom. “When you’re stimulating the G-spot, you’ll have the sensation that you have to urinate because of the G-spot’s proximity to the urethra. … That’s a sign you’re in the right place.”
Dr. Berman says you have to identify your own G-spot before anyone else can. “You’ve got to find it yourself first,” she says. “Or else he may never be able to find it.”
The muscles in a woman’s pelvic floor region contract and release when she is having sex. According to Dr. Berman, the strength of these muscles contributes to the strength of the orgasm that a woman can have. “They also provide more friction against the G-spot if you use them during sex,” Dr. Berman says.
As a woman ages or if she has a baby, the pelvic floor muscles can become loose. “Those are the muscles that you squeeze to stop the flow of urine. That’s how you identify them—those are the Kegels,” Dr. Berman says. “You have to strengthen them using those core muscle exercises and Kegel [exercises]. And if you have really strong Kegel muscle control, you should be able to squeeze your vagina … in and up [and] in and back, and if you’re really in control, side to side.”
